Monday Medicine: Christmas Jokes

In case you need something to entertain the kids on their break, here are some corny jokes I found on http://www.theholidayspot.com

What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees??

Horn-aments!

What would a reindeer do if it lost its tail?

She'd go to a re-tail shop for a new one!

Why is Prancer always wet?

Because he's a rain-deer!

Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?

Because he had a low elf esteem!

Monday Medicine: Christmas Humor

Dave Barry is my favorite humorist. Every year he writes about unusual Christmas gifts that are actually out there. Here is this year's list. You can click on each one to read his hilarious description of it. I crack up at these every year!

Dave Barry's 2009 Gift Guide

Educational sperm snow globe
Poop box
Jerky pistol
Nose shower-gel dispenser
Metal-detecting sandals
Whoppair boxing gloves
NFL Garden Gnome
Beer pager
Stink-finder ultraviolet light
Golf club drink dispenser
Wine glass holder necklace (set of two)

Monday Medicine: Christmas Humor

No Christmas humor post could be complete without this Robert Earl Keen Song! Click on the link to see the video. Its really funny!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P37xPiRz1sg

Monday Medicine: Tis the Season!

Since Thanksgiving is over, it seems that Christmas will be here sooner than we realize so each Monday until Christmas I'm going to post Christmas humor. With all the stress of the holidays we shouldn't forget to laugh!

from: http://www.humormatters.com/holidays/Christmas/holiday%20images.htm

from: butlerwebs.com

Monday Medicine: Corny Thanksgiving jokes

Want to teach your kids some corny jokes to tell all the relatives this week? I found these at http://holidays.kaboose.com/thanks-games-jokes.html

Why did the Pilgrims want to sail to America in the spring? ?

Because April showers bring Mayflowers



What happened when the turkey got into a fight? ?

He got the stuffing knocked out of him



Why did the turkey cross the road? ?

It was the chicken's day off



Why was the turkey the drummer in the band? ?

Because he had the drumsticks

Monday Medicine

Check out my favorite comedian, Tim Hawkins. No matter how much I hear his stuff, I always laugh! http://www.timhawkins.net/ Click on "featured videos"

Monday Medicine: military humor

From the Reader's Digest:

When a fellow ROTC cadet was kept out of Airborne School because of poor grades, his grandfather was confused. "Wait a minute," he said to his grandson. "You're telling me that these days you have to be smart to jump out of an airplane?"

Scott Oplinger

A big thank you to all of our military out there, both past and present!

Monday Medicine

I was in the store the day before Halloween and they were already removing all of the Halloween stuff from the shelves. The day after Halloween they had the Christmas stuff out already!

Found this comic on: http://www.arcamax.com/familycircus

Monday Medicine

Here's a Halloween Funny from one of my favorite strips...Pickles.

Found it on http://www.arcamax.com/pickles Go there to see more.

Monday Medicine: halloween jokes

I don't know about your kids, but mine love jokes! Here are a few cute halloween jokes I found on theholidayspot.com.

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?

Frostbite...


Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?


No, they eat the fingers separately...



Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town?


Because they don't have any body to go out with...

Monday Medicine: Columbus Day!

Happy Columbus Day! Here are a couple of corny jokes you can tell the kids today!

Where did Columbus first land in America?

On his feet!

How was Columbus's ship like an avid shopper?

They're both driven by sales!

I always try to give credit....Found these on http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/jokes/holiday/columbusdayjokes.html

Monday Medicine: State Fair People Watching

The state fair is a great place to people watch. You find all kinds of people there!

Every year we see those people who have the courage to walk around the fair wearing interesting hats. I always wonder, "Do they wear them places other than the fair?"

And then there's the people who are brave enough to get their teeth whitened at the fair. Yes, you read that right-- teeth whitening at the fair! This was in one of the exhibit buildings. These people were just lying there with their mouths opened right in front of everyone! I don't know...whenever I need dental work done my first thought is to have it done at a dentist office, not the State Fair!

And then there are the, um, eccentrics...yes, let's call them eccentrics! This woman was walking around the fair pulling this cart full of random stuff talking into a tape recorder about the city council! Apparantly, she has some complaints about the city council as well as other political entities.

Never a dull moment at the fair!

Monday Medicine

Want a good laugh on this Monday? Check out this site: www.peopleofwalmart.com

It is hilarious pictures of actual people/cars/etc. in actual Walmarts. Don't view it with kids around though. Sometimes the people in the pictures are wearing clothing with bad words on it or sometimes not enough clothing at all! It is great for a laugh though!

Monday Medicine

One of my favorite comic strips- Real Life Adventures by Gary Wise & Lance Aldrich...

If you want a few more laughs today head over to www.gocomics.com That's where I found this one. Unfortunatly, our paper doesn't run it anymore so I have to surf the internet to read it now.

Monday Medicine

Since we homeschool I found today's Bizarro comic really funny...so did my son!

Check out more Bizarro comics at:

http://www.comicstriparchive.com/Bizarro/

Monday Medicine

Since today is Labor Day I'm posting a little workplace humor courtesy of www.comedy-zone.net.

A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand."Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work?""Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button."Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy."

Monday Medicine

For today's laugh I thought I'd post the picture of a local dentist. My son spotted it when we went to the movie theater next to it. He said, "Ice cream, cookies, malts, and smoothies...I want to go to that dentist!"

Of course, the treats go to a restaurant that is around the corner but from one side you can't really tell so it's rather amusing.

And to add an extra dose today here are some little dentist jokes I came across on http://www.dentalaffairs.com/includes/jokes.htm...

What does the dentist of the year get?...A little plaque

When a new dentist set up in a small town he quickly acquired a reputation of being the latest kind of "Painless" dentist. But a local lad quickly disputed this. "He's a fake ! " he told his mates. "He's not painless at all. When he stuck his finger in my mouth I bit him - and he yelled like anyone else."

Monday Medicine

I just finished reading Pudd'nhead Wilson by Mark Twain so my medicine this Monday is straight from there. Each chapter began with a quote from Pudd'nhead's calendar. Here were my favorites...

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

One of the most striking differnces between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

Behold, the fool saith, 'Put not all thine eggs in the one basket'--which is but a manner of saying, 'Scatter your money and your attention'; but the wise man saith, 'Put all your eggs in the one basket and --WATCH THAT BASKET.'

Monday Medicine

We've all heard that laughter is the best medicine. Well, since Mondays and I usually don't get along very well I decided that a dose of humor would be a good way to start the week. So, each Monday I'm going to post my "Monday Medicine".

Here's my medicine for this week. A little homeschool humor to celebrate the start of school!

And an old joke that's been around a while...

What do you call it when a homeschooling mother talks to herself?

A parent-teacher conference!